sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
