it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
