does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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