im drinking this country out of the recession.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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