11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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