when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
How does it feel to date your dad?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
