I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
