walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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