well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I enjoy the company of your penis
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them