A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
