my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
