First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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