I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
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She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
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You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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