Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.