if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
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if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
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Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win