Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
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You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
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The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast