My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
