i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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