She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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