I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize