After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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