just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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