They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
NoShamevember. You game?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize