every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
