So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
