but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
