spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
