Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
