one two three fourrrrnication!
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
