I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize