Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
