It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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