i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
do nipples grow back?
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