I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize