We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
