about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
