you guys were way drunker than both of me
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
