My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
