I puked a lego.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
When did angry sex become our thing?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
