the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
