What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
