her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
