Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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