This is not my ceiling
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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