i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just high enough for therapy.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
