I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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