your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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