he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
