you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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