Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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