There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
