I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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