I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
