She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
