Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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